oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
