I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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