I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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