I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
