I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize