there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
