I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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