He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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