It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
