Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize