dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
