we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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