How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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