That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
