Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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