trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
