How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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