(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
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you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
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If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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