Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
false alarm. still invincible.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's shark week go big or go home
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
