and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
