Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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