just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
