no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
