Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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