Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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