we're chasing vodka with high fives
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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