I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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