Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
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We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
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I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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