Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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