would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
