Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
try to milk me bitch
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