I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
