I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
