She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
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Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
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I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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