Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
