You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
