i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
