No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
