absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
