Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
