Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
