You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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