I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Randomize
