My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
