Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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