At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
