turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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