i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
