wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Boobs are out for the taking
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
