i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
