the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
