I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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