How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
