my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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