seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
