she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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