not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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