dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
