in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She said her name was "party"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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