is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
