Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
